[This] is a short, zany, tall-tale reminiscent of Heinlein's "And He Built A Crooked House". Someone ends up making a 3-dimensional, unfolded projection of a 5-dimensional hypercube, a Penteract. The object, when dropped accidentally on the floor, ends up becoming a 4-spatial-dimensional tesseract extending into Time, leading to slap-stick comedy on planetary scale. The penteract builder explains how the higher dimensional objects are made from lower dimensional ones (the author gets the number of cubes and tesseracts required to make a Penteract incorrect, using 64 cubes instead of 40 and mentioning that a Penteract has 8 tesseracts instead of 10). The "Ifth" and "Oofth" in the title refer to 2 spatial dimensions orthogonal to our 3-D (though only one of them ends up being used).