Because the administration does not want to jeopardize the scholarships donated by the Pirolli Tire Company, the protagonist of this story is required to pursue Arthur Pirolli's idea that by making use of more digits of π, his company will be able to manufacture tires that are more perfectly round than their competitors.

In this story, the university's dean of research assigns "research tickets" to representatives from local businesses seeking assistance from academic experts. When that happens, the faculty member is essentially required to work on that project. (Is that a thing? Although corporate outreach is definitely encouraged throughout academia, I am not aware of any institution where it has been formalized through such "tickets", or where faculty are "volunteered" to work on it without any say in the matter.)

This academic farce appeared in the Journal of Humanistic Mathematics, Volume 16 Issue 2.