In this play about a Spanish nobleman's son who turns to a life of crime, Don Ariell employs a mathematician named Lopez as one of his son's many tutors.
However, the son, Don Diego, does not appreciate his education, especially not the mathematics:
| (quoted from The Banditti, or, A ladies distress : a play, acted at the Theatre-Royall)
Diego:
First every morning at four a Clock, when I, perhaps, am sweetly Dreaming of Lawra, or Flora, or Clora, or something or Other that's Heavenly, am I rowz'd up by a damn'd Vaulting-Master that teaches me to break my Neck by way of Agility; then about an hour after comes Signior Semibreif the Singing-man; and he and I make such a dreadfull Noise with our Soll's, and our Fa's, and our Crotchets, and our Quavers, that we set all the Cats in the Neighbourhood a howling about us: but what's worst, and my most insufferable Plague, is about Noon, when I am hungry and should Eat my dinner, comes my Confounded Mathematician here.
D. Ar.:
What's that Sirrah—abusing the Sciences.
Diego.:
And he with his never-ceasing Tongue-Clack quite Murders me, what with his Hexagons, his Pentagons, his Bastions, Parapetts, Pallisedes, Fortifications, Ramparts, Counterscarps, Ravellings, Esplanades, Swallows, Tails, Hornworks, Counterguards, and the Devill and all, I am Conjur'd to Death; I am Enchanted; there is no living for me; I'le go and be one of the Banditti rather then endure it.
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Diego's bad character first manifests when he ruthlessly beats Lopez:
| (quoted from The Banditti, or, A ladies distress : a play, acted at the Theatre-Royall)
Diego:
Ay, Ay, do, beat me, Gad I'le mawle your Mathematician, I'le rout the Sciences, I warrant ye.
Diego is beating Lopez this while, who walks very gravely & slowly about the Stage.
Sirrah, if I catch you again buzzing in my Ears, your Mines, and your Countermines, I'le blow ye up if there be any powder in Spain, I'le not be plagu'd with a Scurvy Mathematical
Rascal, not I, and there's the Resolution of a—
D. Ar.:
Of a Fool, Sot, Rascal.
Diego:
Ay, ay, any thing but Mathematician, and so I leave ye; and pox of Hexagons and Pentagons—I'le have nothing to do with 'em.
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Diego and his friends go so far as to tie Lopez up, gag him, and kick him. Don Ariell begs Diego to change his course, but Diego responds:
| (quoted from The Banditti, or, A ladies distress : a play, acted at the Theatre-Royall)
Diego: What! and learn the Mathematicks again, shall I—learn to have my bones broke, seeking to defend 'em by rule and figure, according to the instructions of musty Algebra there, that Trigonometricall Sot shall I? no, no, I like my present
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Note that the line about having "bones broke" is a reference to algebra. Etymologically, algebra is derived from the Arabic for "reunion of broken parts" and referred originally to the setting of broken bones. Although it only retains its mathematical meaning in English today, in D'Urfey's day algebra was also a relatively common English word for "bone setting" (cf. the etymology of "algebra").
Later, when begging for leniency for his son who has been arrested, Ariell (who otherwise had been very supportive of Lopez and mathematics) urges the police not to listen to Lopez, saying:
| (quoted from The Banditti, or, A ladies distress : a play, acted at the Theatre-Royall)
D. Ariel:
Nay prethee dear Counterscarp hold thy peace now; I never knew a Mathematician that had any Charity in him: my Lord, let me beg your Lordship to consider my Son, Diego my Son and heir, my only Son Diego.
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This play is described as a comedy. It is difficult for me to judge something written so long ago, but I wonder if the audience was supposed to share Diego's distaste for mathematics and find his comments (and cruelty to Lopez) amusing. I would appreciate thoughts from anyone with expertise who could comment on that. |
