| Contributed by
Vijay Fafat
A tale which is best avoided, but documented here for completeness. It is an utterly tasteless, juvenile story designed to evoke titterings among teenagers. One could laugh if it were a funny dirty joke but it isn’t. It is also the most bizarre story one might come across involving a tesseract.
Harry Immelman was a young mathematics instructor at City University, circa 1967. One night, he woke up to a very strange, very grizzly scene best left un-described except to say that he got attacked by a disembodied penis, one which Harry defeated in a sanguinary manner. Seven years passed by, Harry became an accomplished mathematician and Sara, his wife, became a highly regarded gynecologist heading up R&D at a leading firm pioneering new birth-control measures.
Now, at some point, Harry had explained some higher-dimensional geometry to Sara (which description is quite garbled and completely incorrect, as you can read below). As she recollected:
| (quoted from Another Cock Tale)
“Remember one night you told me about the Mobius strip, how it converts a one dimensional continuum into a two dimensional one? And how a Klein bottle makes two dimensions into three? And how, theoretically, there would be a means of applying the same principle to a three dimensional solid, transforming it into a four dimensional form called a tess . . .”
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Well, Sara and her team decided to use that idea to create an intra-uterine device - dubbed “Plastic Tess” - for birth-control. Sara explained:
| (quoted from Another Cock Tale)
“Max got one of his topologists to apply the principle of the Mobius strip and Klein bottle to a three dimensional form, making it four dimensional, then miniaturized it to fit inside a vagina...
“A tesseract!” hissed Harry. “A Plastic Tess is a miniaturized tesseract!”
“Right. And when the semen passes through the Plastic Tess, it moves from a three to a four dimensional continuum and vanishes. As I said, we don't fully understand where it goes yet, but since the fourth dimension is.. .”
“Time!” cried Harry Immelman.”
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The reader can guess what had happened from the future to the past.
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